Tuesday, November 16, 2010

the up-down syndrome

i saw him looking distraught, sitting alone at our office pantry. sipping coffee from the vendo machine. he's usually not like this. he's one of my perkier acquaintances.

"hey!" i greeted him. i took a sip from my coffee cup and laid it down on the table. oh, how i missed my brewed coffee. coffee from dispensing machines are generally good but brewed coffee is heaven. i pulled a chair beside him and sat.

"hey!" he greeted back. there was this forced smile on his face. he managed to take four successive gulps of coffee during that sliver of silence between us.

"why the long face, my friend?" i queried him,"this is so not you." i tried to make as sympathetic a face as i can hoping to coax him to open up.

"i have a problem," he answered, "it's very personal i can't share it with you."

i looked straight into his eyes. they were sad. "if it's about money .." i allowed my words to trail.

"nope," he immediately cut me off, "nothing to do with money. i have enough. it's just this unhappy feeling. don't know where it's coming from." he explained.

i looked at his eyes again. they were honest. "well, tell me later my friend," i said, "just remember, if you're down, there's nowhere to go but up!" i continued and flashed the thumbs up sign. he smiled. his eyes were still sad.

at home i still remembered that bit of conversation. "if you're down, nowhere to go but up." i think there's something lacking in that advice i gave my friend. when i looked at this picture of a stair i saved in my folder, that's when i had this added thought -- if you're in a stair such as this, where it is definite where the "up" is and where the "down" is, then the advice i gave my friend is adequate.

with Life, it is inadequate.

Life is nothing like a simple stair. in Life, if one says he's down, it does not follow that he is in the "final down". so it could happen that a person will continue to slide, to be further down, and this may go on and on and on, because Life is not a stair where there is a bottom landing and a top landing.

no way!

Life is a staircase that has infinite number of steps. if you say you're up, it does not follow you have reached the top landing. you can still go further up, and up, and up into the abode of happiness and contentment. you are to decide when you don't need to go any further. now, vice versa, when you say you're down it does not mean you have reached the bottom landing. IF YOU ALLOW IT, you will find yourself going further down into the abyss of unhappiness and discontent.

so, this is what i'm going to tell my friend when i meet him again. if i still find him in that sad state, it'll be like this: "my friend, it's okay to say that you are down, but, please will yourself to recognize that you have reached the bottom landing of Life's stairs, believe that there's no more step lower than where you are now. once you have affirmed this, there's no way to go but up!" then the double thumbs up sign.

Life is a staircase. each of us individually determines how long this staircase will be. each of us is given the chance to decide how many steps there will be between the bottom step and the top step.

and don't ever forget this:

going up entails more effort than going down. it sounds paradoxical, but don't be surprised when you find yourself feeling "down" when you're trying to go upstairs in Life.

it's not just gravity, it's how Life requires it to be.


Christopher Dos Santos said...

I am slowly getting caught up on your views and I must say every blog is compelling. You mention your acquaintance when we have no acquaintances. I know this is just a liberal expression of diction, but often diction is the precursor to thoughts, emotions and feelings. He is your brother together your hearts render together you dance.

Your friend has instilled in you trust. His first denial to converse was a reflection of his manly persona. In his heart he trusts you will provide solace which is why he so readily opened up to you confessing his true feelings. This instant confession reflects his desperation and highlights his predicament.

In such situations of discomfort we often feel it incumbent to defer to a sense of privacy. This is why you offered a quick quip to assuage his fears without taking the time to remedy his woes. In your heart you knew this was not proper. Your heightened sense of love allowed your heart to speak to your brain saying hey stop something is not right. An opportunity has passed and I feel I have let my brother down.

Irrespective of the fact he is an acquaintance, not a dear friend, or a blood relative, your heart tells you he is your brother. This plays on your mind until you decide to fulfill your obligation to him in a more complete manner.

By extending the analogy of the staircase you feel more complete. However after making the second attempt you will still feel you have denied your brother his due respect. I feel this is the root of this blog. You know your brother and you are ONE, your mind is following the preconditioning of proper protocol for offering aid.

This will not do my brother, you are much more than a few sentences. Your connection to peace, serenity and love is beautiful. The heart of your brother sees from your actions and the way your carry yourself that you are the one who will be there. Do not deny yourself the opportunity to be complete because of mislaid concepts of proper conduct in society. If society knew what was truth your brother would not need your guidance.

I humbly offer this suggestion. Find a moment at work on Friday to ask quietly tell your brother you have been thinking all week about him and are very concerned. Let your brother know that you love him like a brother should and that you demand some of his time over the weekend to get together and discuss why he feels the way he does. Let him know that you too have such feelings and have found some truth which will allow him to maintain a better perspective on his troubles. Be persistent if you have to, my guess is that he will be amenable to your overture.

Your wisdom is truly beautiful, however with wisdom comes responsibility. It is this same responsibility I have to you, my brother, which makes it a pleasure to suggest this course of action.

Never deny the wisdom of your heart, many believe our reality is a function of the mind. This is not true, advanced science has proven the mind is much like a computer processor. It is the heart which drives our reality. Thoughts, feelings and emotions arising from the heart speaks through the mind to create reality. I have about 300 you tube videos on my site. The spiritual truth section has some wonderful messages your brother could benefit from. Show the man beauty and love this is what he is asking for, nothing more.

I love you my brother may your path flow like a river.

In Lak' esh, my brother, the heart only speaks love, sometimes the head ( ego ) messes up the signal...

sito saguid said...

thank you for this wise advise. i actually deferred replying to you until after i saw my friend again. let me tell you that he is a peace now. he said he had sorted his problem by himself. he said he just found time to be quiet for a while and found his solution. i told him his inner man had helped him this time. he is not big on blogs, but i advised him to visit yours. assured him that he'd find lots of help. thanks brother for sharing

Christopher Dos Santos said...

I am happy to hear our brother is at peace.

Best regards.