Monday, April 04, 2016

in the garden, humming honey

it's  already 5:30 in the afternoon and the sun has slowly turned golden in the west, about to tuck her rays here in my corner of the globe, but still, the heat was very palpable and heavy on the the skin. no wind whispered among the green and brown of the plants i was watering.  no spectator birds either on my rooftops. no bird songs to amuse me this quiet afternoon. a tinge of loneliness surged in my heart.  i concluded my watering and watched as the last silver droplet fell down from the water hose.  it was unusually big and it hit a tiny white flower brushing my knee.  it's weight caused the flower to fall to the wet pebbles by my feet --

 " oh so sorry, little one, " i whispered to the little flower, " how careless of me!  " 

-- but i know the Infinite decides when one's time is up.

i stood silent, alone, there in my wife's garden. i have learned over the years, when melancholy hits you, just let it be, and be aware of your heart, close your eyes and watch steadfast inside, and let the inner ears listen ...

suddenly, I remembered this song by Bobby Goldsboro -- Honey -- one of the most poignant love songs I ever heard in English.  i hummed it and let my eyes become wet.  i don't know if the songwriter, Bobby Russell, just made up the story inside the song, but it sure made this afternoon sadder ... here are its lyrics ....

See the tree how big it's grown
But friend it hasn't been too long
It wasn't big.
I laughed at her and she got mad
The first day that she planted it
Was just a twig
Then the first snow came
And she ran out to brush the snow away
So it wouldn't die
Came runnin' in all excited
Slipped and almost hurt herself
And I laughed 'til I cried
She was always young at heart
Kinda dumb and kinda smart
And I loved her so
And I surprised her with a puppy
Kept me up all Christmas Eve
Two years ago
And it would sure embarass her
When I came in from workin' late
'Cause I would know
That she'd been sittin' there and cryin'
Over some sad and silly
Late, late show

And Honey I miss you
And I'm being good
And I'd love to be with you
If only I could

She wrecked the car and she was sad
And so afraid that I'd be mad
But what the heck
Though I pretended hard to be
Guess you could say she saw through me
And hugged my neck
I came home unexpectedly
And caught her cryin' needlesly
In the middle of the day
And it was in the early Spring
When flowers bloom and Robins sing
She went away

One day while I was not at home
While she was there and all alone
The angels came
Now all I have is memories
Of Honey and I wake up nights
And call her name
Now my life's an empty stage
Where Honey lived and Honey played
And love grew up
And a small cloud passes over head
And cries down on the flower bed
That Honey loved
And see the tree how big it's grown
But friend, it hasn't been too long
It wasn't big
I laughed at her and she got mad
The first day that she planted it
Was just a twig

i coiled the water hose and tucked it away. the golden sun still has not fully tucked away her rays and when i looked up they still lit a small cloud passing overhead ..

ah, melancholy ...