the greatest one-on-one

my daughter was looking at the latest news. she called my attention.

"hey pop! manny "pacman" pacquiao has a boxing match forthcoming. he's gonna be making oodles of money again. are you going to watch it?"

"i don't know i might be working during the event" i shot back.

"you should have tried boxing," she said,"you would have been rich by now."

"well, that's easy for you to say. you know, boxing's a difficult sport. a lot of people had tried it and they never succeeded. many were even unfortunate now in the twilight of their lives suffering from some brain disease that they somehow acquired over years of fighting. besides, i believe that it is written in pacquiao's stars that he'll be great in this. maybe in this lifetime he is allowed to be rich and famous so he can learn something from this."i explained. "it is said, when we are born we are given innate propensities and inclinations that we need to extract the lessons we are to learn for this lifetime, that's why some are born rich and famous, some are born poor, maimed, diseased. that's why some become soldiers, doctors, engineers, inventors, beggars, poets, musicians, artists, etc. they follow a blueprint designed for this lifetime. as for me, i don't have the inclination to be hurt or to hurt somebody in return, so boxing is out of my blueprint."

"well, that's just an excuse, papa. we become what we desire to be. manny worked hard to be where he's at now."

"maybe so," i answered. she's got a point. as we think, so we become. but still, if you don't have this propensity to hurt somebody how will you desire to be a boxer? boxing is a sport where you excel by hurting your opponent, and hurting well at that! i never bothered to tell this to her. i don't want to argue.

i also didn't bother to tell her that i am now a sportsman myself. and i am in my greatest one-on-one ever, as all of us do. we are, each of us, in our greatest one-on-one ever. i realized this last year. i was at a christmas party, surrounded by friends, family, people i love. lots of great food, drinks, music, fun. i was having a great time. suddenly, i found myself sitting in a corner, just watching the event unfold. i don't know where this came from but i got this funny feeling. although i am with friends and family, somehow the happiness i feel is not right. i had this realization that after this party, the happy feeling will be over as well. and again, this thought came over me, as it has come over me hundreds of times in the past -- that the greatest achievement, the greatest win, the crowning glory of my life will be to be happy .. at all times! not just for christmas, nor for new year's eve, nor for my birthday, nor for a friend's marriage, nor for my wife's trip abroad, but for every second of my life. i must confess this is not the case at the moment.

true happiness is a tranquil mind. to have a tranquil mind is to attain contentment. to be content is to want nothing more. to want nothing more is to be always happy. a mind unruffled of fears and uncertainties and wants is therefore the greatest prize. those Great Ones who achieved this left the same advise -- Know Yourself.

i am now in my greatest one-on-one. with myself. i don't know how many rounds it will take but the battle is on. so i'll weave, i'll duck, i'll dish out uppercuts, hooks, jabs, at myself, not to hurt it or maim it, but to know it fully. i know there'd be no shouting, hooting, jeering, cheering at the ringside, for every round, but there'd be something else. it will not be oodles of money nor adulation. none of that.

there'd be just a feeling that all is Well, all is Good, all is Certain, in my corner. nothing more.