now, about love

in my current job now i became a member of a team where almost all of my teammates were half of my age. during one of our team chats, suddenly from out of the blue, one of our female teammates confessed, "i am broken hearted!" we found out she had something like a misunderstanding with her boyfriend and they have to sort of cool off for the time being.

and so for a while, the team chat meandered to the subject of love. she was assured everything will turn out alright, for the better. she was advised if that guy is really the right person for her then all will turn out well in the end. then came the usual cliches on love -- love is giving and taking; love is surrender; " it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all .."; love is sacrifice ...

throughout all these, i just tried to take it all in stride. they are young. and love is still an adventure. but i'm confident that in time they will learn more about love. as for me, on the subject of love, i must admit, i will forever be a student. they are talking about love between two persons. lovers. they are arguing about the physical bond between two people. and the romantic bond between two opposite sexes. and the emotional bond. and the attachment.

this last item, attachment, this i think is what makes love difficult. this is what makes hearts go "broken". i can't help but hum that old BeeGees song where Barry Gibb wrote -- "how can you mend a broken heart, how can you stop the rain from falling down ..". practically, Barry Gibb is saying that it is almost impossible to mend a broken heart, as it is almost impossible to stop the rain from falling down.

non-attachment. this i think is what will prevent broken hearts. but, the big question is, how can one love and be non-attached? for now, i'll admit, i still wont be able to answer this question. however, there are those who say that non-attachment can be learned. that it can be cultivated. if you are not attached to things, to people that you love, it will be easy to let go. separation will not be a difficult situation to handle. because non-attachment will give you the confidence that separation is the best way out, that leaving is the best way to stay!

throughout the team chat i just watched my teammates amuse themselves on the subject of love. then all too suddenly, this remembrance came to my mind, and robotically i typed these words -- "love the one you're with." i can't remember now where i read these but i'm pretty sure it was from the lyrics of an old love song i can't recall now. but it stayed with me. these words.

when these words flashed on their screens, these elicited some amusement on most. one of my female teammates kidded me, "then i should love you because you're the one with me now!" well, i thought, that's actually not a bad idea. i smiled silently at this thought. but, that is not what i meant. or what is meant by the person who wrote those words. when i first read those words i took it literally. but in time, i learned to give it a different meaning.

who is the person we are always with?

our own self is the person we are always with. love thy self. love thy person. always. in loving oneself first, one will discover a lot of things. one will discover surrender. one will know giving. one will find confidence. and once one is confident, one will find non-attachment. because one will arrive at this realization -- one is complete by oneself.