Monday, December 26, 2011

mr. bullfrog, merry christmas!

it was about 3;30 in the morning, i hurriedly went out of our gate and walked towards where i get my ride for work.  two more days and it will be christmas again.  the early morning's not too cold and my body felt rather lazy as i walked.  i have these bodily signs i'd be stricken with colds.  my throat is alternately itchy and sore and my nose feels clammy and wet. 

i'm the only person around.  walking silently.  from a distance i could hear some singing.  it was karaoke before but now it is videoke.  i guessed some people just could not wait for christmas day to get their parties started.  judging from the way the songs were being sung, those singers surely had one too many drinks.  yet, people who hear the songs surely will forgive the singers.  it's not the song, it's not the singer, it's the occasion. december is supposed to be a happy month.  a month of revelry, reconciliation, sharing, loving. those in the christian world should especially know this, as this is the month that the birth of Jesus the Christ is being remembered and celebrated.

walking slowly now as i turned the familiar bend in the road, i suddenly felt so alone.  i looked up at the clear sky.  the stars were there with their pinlights.  the wind is soft against my face.  how many christmases now, i thought to myself. oh, so many now. and in my life, people have come and gone. for some i have vivid memories, for others,  just faint recollections. 

ah, life!  ah, time!  time-life, life-time, is passing by!  what have i accomplished?  what have i done?  what is the significance of my existence?

my philosophizing mind somehow got snagged when my eyes caught this strange protrusion on the road several yards from me. i thought it was a big rock judging from the shadow it cast on the ground.  the light from the streetlamp behind it did not help much.  i took cautious steps as i neared it. i was even imagining it might be a coiled snake waiting to strike me.  it was not moving.  i sidestepped so it will not be in my direct path.  when i was about four feet from it,  it suddenly croaked.  it might have heard my steps and got startled itself but still it did not budge. just made that sound. like a piece of hard carton being ripped wildly.  i stopped when i got opposite the figure.

it was a very large bullfrog.  its round eyes were bulging and were staring ahead not minding me.  its coarse skin is so thick. it was sitting calmly on its hind legs.  i tried to stomp my foot to create a distraction but i guessed it never heard me.  it just kept on staring ahead.  looking at something or nothing.  suddenly, a thought flashed in my mind as i stared at this unmoving creature. it is telling me this --

" i am me.  i am being myself. i am expressing my bullfrogness."

 i felt ashamed as i walked past him.  he just sat there. alone as i am alone again walking towards the jeepney stop.

 well, merry christmas, mr. bullfrog.

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