fried bean curd and mongo sprouts

this morning i went to visit my wife's family's house. ever since no one had occupied it, we were the ones who were maintaining it. today i have to pay for the utilities and do some cleaning. sweep the yard. pull out weeds. wipe off accumulated dust, just general housekeeping.

when i arrived there i noticed a goat which rope leash is tied to one of the iron bars of the fence. one of the neighbors immediately volunteered an explanation. they will be having a drinking joust in the evening to welcome the new year. they will be serving goat meat.

"if you can stay till we begin the party, i'm inviting you." he said.

"thanks, but i can't stay long," i answered, "and besides i don't eat meat." i looked at the animal and it has a sad look in its eyes. it knows its fate. my neighbors will be welcoming the new year but it won't.

tonight, at home i'll be feasting on fried bean curd, sauteed mongo sprouts, and rice. i have been vegetarian since 1989 when i met my spiritual Master and he advised us to adopt this non-meat regimen. before meeting him, i had tried so hard to refrain as much as i can from eating meat. it is not so much because i'm doing spiritual practices and this is a requirement but more so of having realized that a vegetarian diet is more in accord with my disposition.

to be honest, ever since i slit the throat of the very first chicken i killed, i could not forget the uneasiness. the remorse of having inflicted pain. of terminating life. i saw the hot blood spouting as i held the lacerated neck with my left, i felt its legs kick hard against my right hand, struggling to be free, to flee. it actually kicked so hard it almost escaped my grasp. i saw blood flow out until it trickled to a stop and then slowly i felt the heat from the flesh i'm holding diminish, then sudden coldness, then it struggled no more. how can i eat something that tried to flee from me, that contorted its body, its limbs, as it felt the knife blade cut, as its vital fluid started to seep out?

vegetables, nuts, legumes, and fruits. these are where i get my nourishment now and i am satisfied. and i am not remorseful.

i was mopping the floor of the house when i heard a commotion outside the gate. it's just for a couple of minutes. when i peered through the window, i saw the goat's body lying there. they overhang it's limp neck by the canal so blood will trickle out. i knew it did not suffer much. my neighbors are experts now. soon they will blowtorch the fur on its skin. not even the skin will be spared. they also have a delicacy for this.

 welcoming the new year will be fun. there'd be lots of goat meat served via different dishes.

there will be fried bean curd and beansprouts too.