the oatmeal lie

i think it was 2 or 3 days ago, or perhaps, a week past, my memory is playing tricks on me now.  anyway, it was during breakfast for sure.  i have already prepared our morning food -- just fried tofu and thinly sliced, fresh cucumbers.  daughter went ahead and prepared to brew the coffee.

she sat beside me after she poured the steaming coffee into our mugs.  i noticed she looked distraught.

     " why the long face? " i asked.
     " i'm upset with myself. " she said.  she was holding a black notebook in her hands and she was leafing thru the pages. " i have reread some of the entries i had in this journal and there were these notes here some way back where i affirmed how i love oatmeal. "  she was intently looking at the pages again.
     " and? " i had my eyebrows raised.
     " and at the office i told office mates i don't like oatmeal!  now, i am dying to bring oatmeal as my packed food as i don't want to eat out as much as they do during break periods.  the thing is i don't want to explain myself when they see me eating oatmeal. "
     she really looked upset, worried, as she nibbled on a fried tofu.  hmmm, this is interesting, i whispered to myself.  she was serious.  i kept silent for awhile waiting if there'd be other things she needed to say but she had remained quiet, lost in thought.  I myself got lost in thought, thinking about things i could tell her to help, make her feel better.
     I chomped on some fresh cucumber slices and they were crunchy and juicy, a wonderful complement to the crispy tofu.  suddenly, i remembered the book i bought for her just recently.  i know she had not read it yet but i did.  the book was The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.  he is a Master of the esoteric Toltec knowledge, an ancient, ancestral wisdom passed on to him by his Mexican mother, a healer, and his grandfather,  a shaman.
     " daughter, " i began, " don't be upset with yourself.  if you feel you've told a lie, you did not.  remember the book by Don Miguel that i gave you?  if you've read it you'll not feel this way. "
     she was not looking at me but i know she was listening.
     " Don Miguel had revealed there that there are self-limiting beliefs or inner agreements that all of us have inside, built over many years since birth, that keep us tied up.  their Toltec Wise Men have recognized these and it is taught that by being aware of these and by undoing or reversing these, each of us will have more freedom and happiness.  î want you to find time to read the book as i want you to get it the way Don Miguel had presented the teachings.
     " for now i believe for your current predicament, there were two things in the book that will apply.   the first is about making assumptions.  don't straightaway assume that your office mates will find fault with you for showing up for lunch with oatmeal just because you've told them you don't like it.  of course you don't like oatmeal before, but now, you do!  things change.  preferences vary over time.
     " when you told them you don't like oatmeal, that was your truth, your preference during that time.  this time, now, you love oatmeal.  this is your truth now.  you have to be steadfast with what is true to you at the moment.  you never lied to them.  if they ever judge you negatively, that is their burden. don't ever forget, it was written, 'Truth will set us free' ".
     i saw a hint of a smile in her face.  i boldly continued.
     " the second thing i found in the book that might relate to this is about doing your best or being your best.  Don Miguel's words were these, ' Under any circumstances, always do your best, no more and no less.  But keep in mind that your best is never going to be the same from one moment to the next. Everything is alive and changing all the time, so your best will sometimes be high quality, and other times it will not be as good. '
     " just be yourself, daughter, and your truth shall make you free. "  i chomped on another crunchy cucumber slice as i concluded this breakfast's impromptu lecture.

i looked at my daughter and she had this smile of amusement.  i know she was wondering how oatmeal can wax me philosophic.  even i didn't know. must have been the tofu or the cucumber. well, i just wanted to make her feel better.
    

thank you Don Miguel for helping me help her.

the next time I prepare breakfast, i will do oatmeal and crunchy cucumbers.  never tried oatmeal with crunchy cucumbers before.  

this promises to be an interesting pairing as well ...