Friday, April 24, 2015

the oatmeal lie

i think it was 2 or 3 days ago, or perhaps, a week past, my memory is playing tricks on me now.  anyway, it was during breakfast for sure.  i have already prepared our morning food -- just fried tofu and thinly sliced, fresh cucumbers.  daughter went ahead and prepared to brew the coffee.

she sat beside me after she poured the steaming coffee into our mugs.  i noticed she looked distraught.

     " why the long face? " i asked.
     " i'm upset with myself. " she said.  she was holding a black notebook in her hands and she was leafing thru the pages. " i have reread some of the entries i had in this journal and there were these notes here some way back where i affirmed how i love oatmeal. "  she was intently looking at the pages again.
     " and? " i had my eyebrows raised.
     " and at the office i told office mates i don't like oatmeal!  now, i am dying to bring oatmeal as my packed food as i don't want to eat out as much as they do during break periods.  the thing is i don't want to explain myself when they see me eating oatmeal. "
     she really looked upset, worried, as she nibbled on a fried tofu.  hmmm, this is interesting, i whispered to myself.  she was serious.  i kept silent for awhile waiting if there'd be other things she needed to say but she had remained quiet, lost in thought.  I myself got lost in thought, thinking about things i could tell her to help, make her feel better.
     I chomped on some fresh cucumber slices and they were crunchy and juicy, a wonderful complement to the crispy tofu.  suddenly, i remembered the book i bought for her just recently.  i know she had not read it yet but i did.  the book was The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.  he is a Master of the esoteric Toltec knowledge, an ancient, ancestral wisdom passed on to him by his Mexican mother, a healer, and his grandfather,  a shaman.
     " daughter, " i began, " don't be upset with yourself.  if you feel you've told a lie, you did not.  remember the book by Don Miguel that i gave you?  if you've read it you'll not feel this way. "
     she was not looking at me but i know she was listening.
     " Don Miguel had revealed there that there are self-limiting beliefs or inner agreements that all of us have inside, built over many years since birth, that keep us tied up.  their Toltec Wise Men have recognized these and it is taught that by being aware of these and by undoing or reversing these, each of us will have more freedom and happiness.  î want you to find time to read the book as i want you to get it the way Don Miguel had presented the teachings.
     " for now i believe for your current predicament, there were two things in the book that will apply.   the first is about making assumptions.  don't straightaway assume that your office mates will find fault with you for showing up for lunch with oatmeal just because you've told them you don't like it.  of course you don't like oatmeal before, but now, you do!  things change.  preferences vary over time.
     " when you told them you don't like oatmeal, that was your truth, your preference during that time.  this time, now, you love oatmeal.  this is your truth now.  you have to be steadfast with what is true to you at the moment.  you never lied to them.  if they ever judge you negatively, that is their burden. don't ever forget, it was written, 'Truth will set us free' ".
     i saw a hint of a smile in her face.  i boldly continued.
     " the second thing i found in the book that might relate to this is about doing your best or being your best.  Don Miguel's words were these, ' Under any circumstances, always do your best, no more and no less.  But keep in mind that your best is never going to be the same from one moment to the next. Everything is alive and changing all the time, so your best will sometimes be high quality, and other times it will not be as good. '
     " just be yourself, daughter, and your truth shall make you free. "  i chomped on another crunchy cucumber slice as i concluded this breakfast's impromptu lecture.

i looked at my daughter and she had this smile of amusement.  i know she was wondering how oatmeal can wax me philosophic.  even i didn't know. must have been the tofu or the cucumber. well, i just wanted to make her feel better.
    
thank you Don Miguel for helping me help her.

the next time I prepare breakfast, i will do oatmeal and crunchy cucumbers.  never tried oatmeal with crunchy cucumbers before.  

this promises to be an interesting pairing as well ...

4 comments:

sito saguid said...

Dear Brother Chris

upon waking up this morning i got so elated when i saw your comment on this post. I must apologize. For reason i don't know that comment had somehow been deleted.
I was able to read it and i am glad that you are well and fine and that the reason for your absence is not in anyway related to health problems. You mentioned it is because you relocated back to Vancouver. I am positive we would soon be seeing your erudite posts once again.
Dear Brother even i wish to have the occasion to meet you personally and i hope i will get the chance.
Keep safe and best regards to you and yourfamily.

sito saguid said...

Dear brother Chris

I believe I am mistaken on my earlier reply about you getting back to Vancouver. If I remember correctly, you mentioned going back to the island.
Anyways, I know you'd be back on your blog site as soon as you can. Be well ..
If you notice this leafdropper blog site is also under "renovation"

Christopher Dos Santos said...

Namaste brother Sito; it makes me smile to see you deleted my message, incomplete as it was. Being a challenged navigator of all thing technical, I can relate.

This story brought great joy to my day. As with all stories you write, you have a penchant for capturing the reader. Pity we both have been neglectful in our writing of late, something which I hope to rectify soon.

The firm I work for is headed up by a president who has connections to the Philippines. He is planning for a company retreat to your country next summer. If I can manage, I will endeavor to add a few days to my itinerary so that I might come visit you and your lovely family, inshallah.

Of late, there have been many changes in my life. My partner Amanda and I have chosen to reach for change. In doing so we have decided to part ways, may we both be blessed with the knowledge, love and wisdom we seek. I have subsequently moved back to the island. Blessings abound brother, as I find myself living in a beautiful little cottage which abuts the most marvelous river. For the last few months, I have fly rod in hand, fishing the many species of salmon running up river to spawn. The fishing is grand, catching a good dozen 10 - 20 pound fish each day. Being on the river fly fishing is one of the most peaceful experiences one could have, truly this is a blessing long in the making. The salmon season has now ended, leaving me free to observe my true loves, reading writing, most importantly, learning.

My wish is that this message finds you and your lovely family in good health, high spirits, and loving in nature. I am confident this is the case. Thank you for your continued presence in my life brother. Although we communicate seldom, you are constantly in my thoughts, the perfect brother I have always wished for. With great anticipation, I hope to find you with pen in hand more often, your prose is so valuable in a world as ours. Take good care brother, with love in my heart I bid you a good day.

In Lak' ech brother Sito, may your family prosper with love... then live with joy....

sito saguid said...

Brother Chris,

The Great Infinite has Its way in guiding us in our paths. I am confident both you and Amanda will ever be blessed with knowledge, love, and wisdom. I am elated you are communing with Nature and I can sense the joy in your words. I have on some occasion in the past been able to experience simple rod fishing and I can only imagine the excitement, the happiness you are having now in that little cottage and that vibrant river. More importantly, as you have mentioned, you now have time for the things you truly love to do.

Carry on, dear brother and may your heart be as joyful as ever ...