mr. bullfrog, merry christmas!

it was about 3;30 in the morning, i hurriedly went out of our gate and walked towards where i get my ride for work.  two more days and it will be christmas again.  the early morning's not too cold and my body felt rather lazy as i walked.  i have these bodily signs i'd be stricken with colds.  my throat is alternately itchy and sore and my nose feels clammy and wet. 

i'm the only person around.  walking silently.  from a distance i could hear some singing.  it was karaoke before but now it is videoke.  i guessed some people just could not wait for christmas day to get their parties started.  judging from the way the songs were being sung, those singers surely had one too many drinks.  yet, people who hear the songs surely will forgive the singers.  it's not the song, it's not the singer, it's the occasion. december is supposed to be a happy month.  a month of revelry, reconciliation, sharing, loving. those in the christian world should especially know this, as this is the month that the birth of Jesus the Christ is being remembered and celebrated.

walking slowly now as i turned the familiar bend in the road, i suddenly felt so alone.  i looked up at the clear sky.  the stars were there with their pinlights.  the wind is soft against my face.  how many christmases now, i thought to myself. oh, so many now. and in my life, people have come and gone. for some i have vivid memories, for others,  just faint recollections. 

ah, life!  ah, time!  time-life, life-time, is passing by!  what have i accomplished?  what have i done?  what is the significance of my existence?

my philosophizing mind somehow got snagged when my eyes caught this strange protrusion on the road several yards from me. i thought it was a big rock judging from the shadow it cast on the ground.  the light from the streetlamp behind it did not help much.  i took cautious steps as i neared it. i was even imagining it might be a coiled snake waiting to strike me.  it was not moving.  i sidestepped so it will not be in my direct path.  when i was about four feet from it,  it suddenly croaked.  it might have heard my steps and got startled itself but still it did not budge. just made that sound. like a piece of hard carton being ripped wildly.  i stopped when i got opposite the figure.

it was a very large bullfrog.  its round eyes were bulging and were staring ahead not minding me.  its coarse skin is so thick. it was sitting calmly on its hind legs.  i tried to stomp my foot to create a distraction but i guessed it never heard me.  it just kept on staring ahead.  looking at something or nothing.  suddenly, a thought flashed in my mind as i stared at this unmoving creature. it is telling me this --

" i am me.  i am being myself. i am expressing my bullfrogness."

 i felt ashamed as i walked past him.  he just sat there. alone as i am alone again walking towards the jeepney stop.

 well, merry christmas, mr. bullfrog.

unwrapping gifts

o, how the wheels of time had turned so fast! it is december again.  i remembered this was the time last year when i had to cope with chelsea and her newborn pups.  well, it was such an experience. a heartwarming experience.

being december, most of us are again so eager to celebrate christmas. to enjoy warmth and camaraderie with friends and family.  we will, of course, not forget, to continue the traditional practice of gift giving.  the sharing of whatever blessings we have received from the Infinite. this is, i think, our own approximation of the Infinite's great act of giving, when we were afforded the physical presence of Jesus the Christ so that His Light may benefit us all.

and so we give. and we are given.  in our own small ways, we try to share. often, it is material bounties that we give and receive.  now, if this is not possible, we share our presence: our love, our friendship, our companionship, our life, and our light. we all feel empowered and blessed by this feeling of oneness and communion with our fellows.

i remembered this scene in one of the christmas movies i saw.  the lead female character was surprised to see a very big gift box in her room. it was festooned with ribbons.  excitedly she opened the box. she found another smaller ribboned gift box inside.  she opened this smaller box and again she found an even smaller box inside.  she kept on doing this several times, the smile on her face revealing her increasing amusement.  finally, she arrived at the final box, and there she found a beautiful diamond engagement ring!  she was teary-eyed with immense joy.

recalling the words of the Old Sages and Masters, we should be like this lady.  we should not stop till we have fully unwrapped the true gift we have received from the Great Creator.  our "diamond ring", our True Self, is encased in elaborate gift wraps and ribbons and sheaths, and we have to painstakingly peel off these coverings, layer by layer, till we behold this True Gift.  we must not be distracted and keep on unwrapping.

when at last we have finally unsheathed the last of the coverings, then we will see,

and we will understand,

and our hearts will be exceedingly glad for always.

she's there waiting

in one of my mind's meanderings, there came this figment of a remembrance, one of those days way back in college when i chanced to visit the park's breakwater by the sea ... i was able to observe this girl, she was with some companions enjoying the sea breeze and the silky touch of early sunshine on our skins, she had this faint smile etched on her face,  i supposed she felt happy, just as i supposed i was happy that time.

i think we are like this at some moments in our life, we just suppose to be happy.  we just force a smile to be etched on our faces.  genuine happiness feels a lot different, if only for a fleeting moment.

there's a girl that i know
who loves to go to the shoreline
and looks at the sea with her blind eyes.

she's always there
waiting for the sun to rise
for she believes it's rays will make her see.

and the waves make her smile
but the smile's all in vain.
and the waves make her smile
but the smile's of a fool.


the Old Sages and Masters have taught that genuine happiness is achievable.  we only need to remember how to get at it.  the key is inside our True Self.


we might be blind outside, but, inside, within the Inner Self, we are all-seeing...  let us all begin the journey towards genuine happiness.  the first step is to close the eyes.  then, start to look within.  discover the Inner Self.  let us all remember, the True Self is ever genuinely happy.

the great debate

i was inside a jeepney again, on my way to work.  it was 2:30 am.  we were only about six people inside the jeepney excluding the driver.  the vehicle was gliding steadily.  the driver was making occasional stops on street corners hoping to pick up more passengers.  outside, the darkness of the night is bedecked with yellow and white bright spots from street lights and houselights left open by their sleeping occupants.  i imagined a fancy dress i saw in one of these glossy ladies' magazines, a long black gown with dots of shimmering sequins. the designer might have been riding a jeepney when he thought of creating that gown.

across me, on the opposite seat, were a father and his son.  the boy was about three or four years old.  his father had his right arm around the little one and the boy was comfortably cradled as the vehicle sped along.  they were conversing animatedly and i couldn't help but listen in.

"dad, i won't sleep," the boy declared in a little halting speech, "we are already near our house." he pointed his little forefinger outside towards where this gown-night's sequins were. yet, he was not pointing to any specific location outside, just to the passing silhouettes of houses.

"oh, but you should," his dad answered, "we're still a long way off and you need to sleep so you'll grow up fast, be tall and strong like me."  the dad playfully curled his left arm and a small knot of firm biceps  had formed.  the little one touched it but looked unimpressed.

"i don't want to sleep. i don't want to miss our house. mom's waiting. and you always fall asleep yourself!" the boy was insistent.

"no, we won't miss it this time.  i'll be awake, i promise." the father answered. he looked smilingly. he knew i was listening to their conversation.  i nodded and smiled back.

they kept at this near or far debate for some minutes. after a while, i saw the little one yawn and soon he was sleeping soundly.  his dad lifted up the boy's legs and set them comfortably on the empty seat.  the jeepney glided through the sequined night.  soon, as the boy foretold, dad was also dozing off.

i'll never know who won this "great" debate cause i got off the vehicle ahead of the two. based on my scoring both had each earned a point.  the father was right about their place being still far.  the little boy was right about his dad falling asleep.  the deciding factor will be whether they'll miss their house or not.

i've placed my bet on the little one, though.  he was so convincing when he reminded his father about his being a sleepyhead himself.  i can only imagine the things the little one will say to dad if he wakes up ahead of him and learns they've missed their place again!

it is things like this that make life amusing and funny.  oh, what wonderful creatures we all are!