Monday, August 22, 2011

of praying

just last sunday,  we heard mass. we came early so we were able to pick our seats. we chose a spot near and in front of the altar. there were already lots of people. it's a great feeling to be able to devote some time to congregate with others and praise and thank the Infinite. for the help and graces received.

i immediately noticed the young man sitting to the left of my daughter. he acted rather uncommonly. he kept on gnawing at his fingernails and talking with himself, laughing out loud occasionally. his eyes were always closed, and he was seemingly absorbed in his inner world.. i observed him and judging by his irregular actions i concluded he is a special child, somewhat autistic, or probably a bit mentally challenged. there was no hint of violence in his actions. i  looked around and saw a lady seated just behind him. i surmised she was his mother. the lady gave me a reassuring smile. she probably caught the apprehension in my eyes since her son is seated beside my daughter.

the mass began. immediately, there was this change in the young man's demeanor. he got so lively. he participated well in the singing and the prayer rituals. he knows the entire proceedings by heart. he still kept his eyes closed. he sang out loud, sometimes in tune, sometimes out of tune, sometimes in a bass voice, many times in high-pitched, his falsetto voice clearly soaring above the rest. yet, i am convinced, there is nothing more honest that what he is doing. his singing and his prayers come from his heart.

so when the priest prayerfully announced, "lift up your hearts to the Lord!" and we all answered "we lifted them up to the Lord!", i believe the young man is truly lifting his heart to the Infinite, with nary another thought preoccupying his inner self.

as for me, i lifted my heart to the Infinite as well, but, at the back of mind there were these pestering thoughts about some unfinished business that i'd have to complete once the mass is over.

my inner self is just not there last sunday..

2 comments:

Christopher Dos Santos said...

Namaste brother, beautiful post. I do however disagree that you were not present. Your heart soars with eternal love, far above the common world you so eloquently describe. No man lives beyond the wandering mind of ego. It is a treat to see your mind chooses to constantly return to source.

In Lak' ech, brother Sito, you are that boy as he is you...

sito saguid said...

thanks a lot for this reassurance, dear brother. many times when the mind is so preoccupied with uncertainties and mundane concerns, it becomes difficult to focus on the source. yet, one must abide to that reminder of the great Sages and Masters -- find the Source and all else shall be found.