are you lonesome tonight?

once i attended a spiritual gathering. the people were all enthusiastic. the spiritual energy was so high. ecstatic even. i was not a member of the spiritual group but i got invited by one of my friends who was a member.

prayers were uttered. religious songs were sung. songs of praise, of thankfulness, for blessings received and for more blessings expected to come, for more problems and life's hardships expected to be resolved by the Almighty, implored to be resolved as soon as He can, if i may say so.

there were dancing, clapping of hands, tears even, rejoicing, and the incessant assurances of the pastor that prayers will be heard and help will come and things will all be right. i have to admit the pastor is a powerful speaker and i know he speaks from his heart. at that moment, i believe there is full honesty in what he is trying to convey to people. he's good at what he's saying because he believed it, and i know that he must have experienced them, those things that he were relating to us that time. at one point, i must admit, he moved me to tears, he moved me to dance, to raise my hands in praise, he made me feel confident and good inside. may the Infinite bless him always!

after the congregation, i and my friend stayed behind for some small talk together with some of the new acquaintances he had introduced me to. they were trying to recruit me to join them. i politely declined.

" brother, we know you are fond of going to spiritual gatherings, do you have a favorite religious song?" one of the new friends asked me.

i smiled and thought for a while at this surprise question. "of course," i replied.

"good. what is it? can you sing it for us?" he shot back.

"i can sing, but you don't want me to," i warned,"i have a terrible voice."

"no, no, brother, we'd like to hear the song, we might be able to use it during one of the future gatherings, c'mon, please," he cajoled me as he handed me the guitar,"what's the title of the song?"

"ok, as you please,"i said as i took the guitar,"it's called 'are you lonesome tonight?' by elvis presley."

"huh?" my new friend was dumbfounded. i can sense it. "is that a religious song, brother?"he asked. the others did not say anything as i started to run my fingers over the fretboard trying to get my proper pitch. satisfied with the key, i plucked the guitar strings carefully. i closed my eyes and focused my sight inside, at the center of my forehead. that's where the seat of the soul is, the Old Masters had taught. and i started to sing,

" are you lonesome tonight?

do you miss Me tonight?

are you sorry we drifted apart?

does your memory stray,

on that bright sunny day,

when I kissed you and called you sweetheart?

do the chairs in your parlor

seem empty and bare

do you gaze at your doorstep

and picture Me there?

is your heart filled with pain

shall I come back again

tell me, dear, are you lonesome tonight?"

i opened my eyes. they were all looking at me. incredulously. the question was there, it was just unexpressed by anyone -- how can that be a religious song? i decided to answer that unexpressed question. "brothers, i said,"that was to me a great spiritual song. why? well, you might not have realized this, but the songs we were singing during the last concluded gathering were all songs coming from us for the Almighty, but this one i sang, try to savor the words, close your eyes with me, as i sing it again, go inside you, think, no, feel, and you'll see!"

i closed my eyes again and started to pluck the guitar once more. i don't know if they ever followed my advise to close their eyes, but i was so fired up now just as i always feel every time i hear or sing this song. i sang the song again, as solemnly as i can ... pretty soon, i can hear the others humming the song, hmmmm, hmmm, hmmm,. i let the last notes of the guitar trail off as i opened my eyes. i know a slight hint of tears had formed at the corners of my eyes.

they were all smiling now. faces radiant, i don't know why, but they look different. i know they realized what i had meant.

"brother," my new friend said," you are right! that is a GREAT song. it is the Almighty that is singing to us this time, it is as if He is showing His willingness to comfort us, we only need to be honest, and tell Him 'Yes, my Lord, i am lonesome tonight' and He will be there!"

i tapped him on the shoulders, and i saw he had formed tears at the corners of his eyes too! the others were still smiling at me. i know, they don't need to say it. it's crazy, but this love song by elvis presley, to me this is a Love Song from the Great Creator, the Divine Person whom we may address as Father or Mother or Beloved.

at night, when i feel lonesome, i hum this tune, or sing it as solemnly as i could, and i feel comforted. i close my eyes, i silently whisper in my heart -- my Beloved, i am lonesome, please return to me --

the Beloved comes to me and i sleep contentedly.

now, about love

in my current job now i became a member of a team where almost all of my teammates were half of my age. during one of our team chats, suddenly from out of the blue, one of our female teammates confessed, "i am broken hearted!" we found out she had something like a misunderstanding with her boyfriend and they have to sort of cool off for the time being.

and so for a while, the team chat meandered to the subject of love. she was assured everything will turn out alright, for the better. she was advised if that guy is really the right person for her then all will turn out well in the end. then came the usual cliches on love -- love is giving and taking; love is surrender; " it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all .."; love is sacrifice ...

throughout all these, i just tried to take it all in stride. they are young. and love is still an adventure. but i'm confident that in time they will learn more about love. as for me, on the subject of love, i must admit, i will forever be a student. they are talking about love between two persons. lovers. they are arguing about the physical bond between two people. and the romantic bond between two opposite sexes. and the emotional bond. and the attachment.

this last item, attachment, this i think is what makes love difficult. this is what makes hearts go "broken". i can't help but hum that old BeeGees song where Barry Gibb wrote -- "how can you mend a broken heart, how can you stop the rain from falling down ..". practically, Barry Gibb is saying that it is almost impossible to mend a broken heart, as it is almost impossible to stop the rain from falling down.

non-attachment. this i think is what will prevent broken hearts. but, the big question is, how can one love and be non-attached? for now, i'll admit, i still wont be able to answer this question. however, there are those who say that non-attachment can be learned. that it can be cultivated. if you are not attached to things, to people that you love, it will be easy to let go. separation will not be a difficult situation to handle. because non-attachment will give you the confidence that separation is the best way out, that leaving is the best way to stay!

throughout the team chat i just watched my teammates amuse themselves on the subject of love. then all too suddenly, this remembrance came to my mind, and robotically i typed these words -- "love the one you're with." i can't remember now where i read these but i'm pretty sure it was from the lyrics of an old love song i can't recall now. but it stayed with me. these words.

when these words flashed on their screens, these elicited some amusement on most. one of my female teammates kidded me, "then i should love you because you're the one with me now!" well, i thought, that's actually not a bad idea. i smiled silently at this thought. but, that is not what i meant. or what is meant by the person who wrote those words. when i first read those words i took it literally. but in time, i learned to give it a different meaning.

who is the person we are always with?

our own self is the person we are always with. love thy self. love thy person. always. in loving oneself first, one will discover a lot of things. one will discover surrender. one will know giving. one will find confidence. and once one is confident, one will find non-attachment. because one will arrive at this realization -- one is complete by oneself.

wealth

much had changed since 2006. the factory where i spent most of my younger years, in fact, 20 of my most productive years, is now long gone. it was closed. the owner was stricken by sickness and i thought he felt it unnecessary to burden his family with this business so he just decided to discontinue it. maybe he also thought that no one is capable enough of running it as efficiently as he did. not one in his family. he died at a young age. i believe he was 43. but he had achieved a lot. in terms of material wealth he had amassed a good fortune. but of course in death you cannot bring any of these material possessions. all of these will be left behind. i went to his wake and paid my respects. silently i prayed to the Infinite that he be guided in his transition to the afterlife. i just hope that he had also taken great pains in amassing his own spiritual wealth while he was yet alive. these are the only ones that we will take with us after our physical selves had served their purpose.

it is my firm belief that there is this other self in each of us that is immaterial and will transcend death, long after our physical selves have become fodder to worms. this undying, eternal self is the one that most importantly needs nurturing. but, sadly, we have been preconditioned from early childhood to regard the outer, material, physical self as our true person. which is incorrect. that's why every time somebody dies i always make it a point to remind myself -- only this person's physical self had died and rotted, but his true self, his true being will live on. by reminding myself this, my sadness is lessened, and i am encouraged to be more cognizant of this inner person within me. i am emboldened to be more vigilant of what needs to be done so that this inner person may amass inner wealth, those spiritual gems which can be carried over to the new life after physical death.

this i think is what antoine du st. exupery is reminding us when, in his book, THE LITTLE PRINCE, he said -- " what is esential is invisible to the naked eye .... ".