without fanfare

just this saturday i was able to meet a friend after about two years of not seeing each other. it was i who lost contact. yet, as always the case, he found me. he always connects with me especially in my difficult periods.

come, he texted me on my mobile phone, you are deep into the dark night. let me help you.

it was i who lost contact for 2 years. he is a brother to me. and he has always been a spiritual mentor. we have met in high school and together with some kindred souls sought the path of mysticism. he is our driving force. encouraging us to keep on, always reminding us never to waver from this path of Self-knowledge. and he is my living proof of how humility, patience, perseverance, and dedication on this path will bear fruit. he is a spiritual giant. he is to me the epitome of service and love for humanity. not just on the physical or the material plane but more so on the spiritual plane. he had patiently guided a lot of us in the work of Self-realization. it is through him that i was able to meet my Master, my spiritual guide.

Service. this is his keyword. service to others. to  humanity. he always says, The fruits of Self-knowledge must impact others. without service to one's fellowmen, Self-realization is useless.

however much one had known Life, Light, and Love, one must share the knowledge so that others may also be led to this ultimate work of evolving the consciousness. we are all Divine. others must be guided towards this remembrance of true self-hood.

my friend, i will not name him. last saturday, again, he had helped me. again, he has my gratitude.

he will be like the sunlight, the moonbeam, the rain, the air i breathe, the blood coursing through my veins. working silently. without fanfare. not expecting anything in return.

just serving others. in the name of Light, Love, Life, the Infinite, the Divine.

last saturday,  i heard him speak to a group of people he is helping on the spiritual path. his eyes were bright. his words powerful and true. his whole being is radiating love and joy and peace. and i remembered him quoting what my Master had always quoted before when we are being reminded of service to others --

love thy Father God with all thy soul, with all thy heart, with all thy mind, and love thy neighbor as thyself.

before i left he looked me over and he smiled. i shook my friend's hand in silent thanks. i left with peace again in my heart.

once in our lifetime we will meet people like him. a true friend. one that never forgets.
we must treasure this friendship. and, we must recompense love with love. we must do to others what was done to us.

we must in our own little way render service too, to others,

especially in the divine work of Self-realization.

back to the past

hah! you guessed right, i'm now facing the future. thus, the title, my back is toward the past now. i cannot undo things that i did. if ever there were mistakes, lots of them, i can no longer turn back time. my only consolation is this sufi saying -- "learn to behave from those who cannot". yes, if i was not able to behave well in the past, surely i should be able to behave well now. this is the value of retrospection. of remembering. things you were not able to do well before, you should be able to do well now.

one learns from the past. one must.

we must admit, in our youth, our tendency is to hurry. seemed liked we never could wait with the things that we can do with our life. we are enamored with adventure. and so we do things with so much haste, and very often, with so little love. and as they say, haste makes waste. and therefore, many times, we find ourselves confronted with mistakes, errors, pains, inconveniences, sorrows. not just ours, but others' as well, those whom we have been in contact with. those whose lives we have touched.

we ask for forgiveness. we say "i'm sorry". and we rejoice much for being forgiven. for being understood as rash, because we are young. we are glad others see our point of view -- that the world is out there for us to discover and conquer. so we plunge head on again. once more in haste.

youth is forgetful. we commit the same mistakes again. we hurt others again. we ask for more forgiveness. once more we are forgiven. this could be the reason why they said "youth is wasted on the young". yet, i believe, this is the grand design of Life. learning, evolving, and finally, remembering.

remembering our true identities. we are not these physical selves that age and weaken and die. the physical world is not the world that needs conquering. we need to realize that existence that is beyond this material world where we wasted our youth on. we are divine sparks and we are eternal.

young men must learn to turn their backs to the future. learn to face the past. and discover the lessons of lived life. they must know that they will not be forever young. they must know how to live a life of love.

old men must learn to turn their backs to the past. learn to face the future and remember to carry discovered lessons of lived life. they must know that they will not be forever old. they should know now that each forthcoming moment is a moment of love.
 
youth and old age have both an ending.

 remembrance is the key. remembrance is knowing who we truly are.

 Life Intertwined

the lazy water silently made its way
across the dusty river bank
carelessly toying 
with the dried-up leaves and broken twigs
it had carried, creating
little eddies by the side.
the waterlily sits unruffled
unmindful of the passing water
and who knows
maybe of the passing time.
a little dragonfly, brightly colored and beautiful,
cautiously alighted on the waterlily.
i threw a pebble on the water
it made bubbles and little waves
which rocked the waterlily
and drove the dragonfly!

back to the future

as i was rummaging through my old journals i came across this old page. it was a self-portrait, a sketch i did when i was 24. i smiled secretly realizing how i managed to capture myself, a youthful me. hair in tangles, unshaven. if i remember right, i did this just after a very tough day at work. i came home feeling so tired, so spent. i think i tried to draw myself just to have a record of that very day. how my inner eyes see the outer me in the mirror. nowadays, if you need to  keep a record of how you look on a certain moment, you can take a quick snapshot of yourself using your mobile phone's camera or even a your handy digital camera. oh, how life had changed!

even if it's not a photograph of myself, what's important is that this image had made me turn my back to the future. yes, back to the future. i know, i know, there is this famous film of the same title, but, when i say this, i meant differently. i am saying:  i am facing my past. so, my back is to the future. i am retrospecting.

how did i fare in life? now, that i'm beyond this 24-year old man? am i successful? am i a failure? was i able to achieve the goals i set during that time?
 
i want to keep my answers for myself.

honestly speaking, for me, the real measure of success is a state of being that is happy and at peace.

this, i realized:  the divine spark that drew that image years back  is the same divine spark that is typing this blog now. the physical self had changed. yes. no more hair that will get tangled, no more mustache, those eyes, they are now hiding behind  eyeglasses. yet, the inner man, the True Self had not aged. it is ageless. and it had remained a lover of the Infinite, it is continually trying to live a divine life. it will ever desire to be with the Love Unchanging, the Love Unbending ...

another page in my old journal has this sonnet i was blessed enough to write --

 july 24, 1982
  
now comes again the count of time, my own,
the years that had already fleeted by,
since i Sweet Life's pulsating pulse have known
and deemed to pursue it's beatings; till i
arrive at where the palpitations end
and into Stillness creep back once more,
or, perhaps not end, but beat on, to blend
with other pulsations of deeper core;
it is now twenty-four, my years, the years
that i've lived Life, and still the pulse i feel
just as before, so unchanged; the ear hears
the same enchanting song, the soothing trill
of birds invisible, the melody
that perhaps i'll hear through all eternity.