true love

i have just had finished feeding both whoopie and chelsea. the new mom had adjusted herself to her new role as nurturer. she is, i believe more relaxed now. she had actually began playing with whoopie again. i decided to sweep the yard again of the fallen leaves. the new year is fast approaching. here in the philippines, the tradition is to welcome the new year with fireworks and fire crackers. literally, with a bang. i don't want a wayward spark to accidentally ignite these dried leaves in my yard.

i was sweeping when i got seized by this sudden realization that another year is passing. time is again fleeting by. and mine, my existence, is also running past. there was this feeling. it was not dread, but more so, of longing, that somehow there'd be an end, and i won't be seeing these anymore -- the cavorting shadows of these two dogs, cast by the brilliant sun above, against the powdery earth; and this majestic avocado tree that showers my yard with leaves of green and brown and gold; the wisps of gray smoke from the leaves i'm burning, rising upwards, upwards to that blue sky overhead, aspiring to join those cottony clouds; the faint scent of leftover dog food; the whining of newborn puppies, eyes still tightly shut; the taste of coffee, very black against the whiteness of this old ceramic cup -- all of these, and more. i felt lonely that things do end. and yet, i know, this is the Grand Design. that all of us will undergo this. we are on a journey through Life and eventually will all be Home.

i looked at the sleeping puppies. one is white. the other brown. their bellies rhythmically rising and falling as they breathe. at peace in their inner world. the sleep of babes. i sat down in front of the storeroom door staring at these new addition to Life. Existence. the two grown up dogs had stopped playing. chelsea entered the storeroom and curled beside the two pups. soon i saw them move towards their mother's breasts. whoopie was beside me now and i felt his wet tongue licking my ear from behind. i ignored him. let him be. i remembered my dead parents, then my wife, my daughter, and all of the people i have loved, in this life...

i hummed an old tune i was blessed enough to compose:

in this world of ups and downs
there is nothing we can hold on for long
for everything changes
everything passes away;
like this lovely flower that grew
it would soon wither and lose its scent
for everything changes
everything passes away;
for only Love
only True Love remains
only Love
only True Love remains
never bending
unyielding
True Love.

tomorrow, at 12 midnight, i will welcome the new year amidst the fancy fireworks and the popping, and cracking, and the booming of fire crackers, with a silent prayer --

o Infinite! grant us all True Love ...

day 4 home alone

it's been 4 days now since i was left alone at home with chelsea, the first time mom. i'm having an amusing time with her.  i'm really not feeling in any way left out. she and her pups are family too. of course, the father, whoopie, is also family. but chelsea and whoopie are not seeing eye to eye. i tried hard to be a bridge between them but i'm not making any progress.  could it be love lost? could it be because whoopie never tried to be with her when she was delivering the puppies? i was informed she delivered 6 puppies actually but 2 were stillborn, and 1 died a few hours later and which head she chewed. the way i observe whoopie now, how he approaches chelsea, i think he really wants to make amends. it's just that chelsea continually snarls at him.

hmmmm, if only i can understand dogspeak --

grrrr! bow wow bow wow wow wow?  grrrrlllll ..... nope, that's not dogspeak. i saw both whoopie and chelsea looking at me with incredulous eyes -- what on earth is this madman saying?

i was very worried about chelsea the first 2 days. i religiously brought food and water to her but she hardly touched them. well, she is nursing some little ones and she needs to be nourished as well. she just takes a few licks of water and that's it. i tried to experiment with her food. gave her the dog food my brother bought for them. just the plain serving. she didn't eat it. i spotted some milk in the fridge which my daughter bought and served it to chelsea. she  never bothered to look at it. i thought hard. well, she is a lady, a mother now. maybe she wants her food served in a food tray that's spic and span. i grabbed her food dish and water bowl and scrubbed them both till they are without any blemish. i served food again. chelsea just yawned, took a few licks of water and lied down  beside her puppies to nurse them. i gave the food to whoopie who danced around my  legs in utter delight.

the neighbor suggested that since chelsea is nursing, she needs good food to be able to continually produce good milk. she said i should try giving some soup or broth. after work, i dropped by the mall's fastfood center and bought a big serving of milkfish belly with lots of broth. at home, i cooked some rice. i mixed the rice with the broth and mashed the milkfish belly. then i placed a trial serving on chelsea's dish and offered it to her. she loved it. she ate heartily. i gave her another serving. i saved the rest for 2 more servings: before i leave for work at night and when i arrive home the next morning. i've solved the problem about getting her to eat. the next time, i'll cook some corned beef for her and whoopie and i'll make sure to do it with lots of broth.

day 3. morning. i knew i counted correctly when i transferred the puppies to the storeroom area i set aside for them. i cradled 3 fragile puppies in my arms. like the 3 blind mice. but now, as i was serving  chelsea' s food i noticed there were only 2 little ones sucking milk from her. when she rose up to eat, i immediately snuck behind her and approached the little ones. by now, chelsea had grown accustomed to me getting near them. it's just whoopie she snarls at. i frantically looked for the other puppy. i lifted the old towel i used to make a bedding for them. it's not under it. i ran to the house and grabbed my flashlight. i searched hard. could not find it. i sniffed  the air around for some foul smell of decomposing body. nothing. i looked at chelsea and asked aloud, "where is your other pup? " she just whined and nudged the 2 little ones aside and curled beside them. the little ones immediately snuggled to their mom to suck. i asked chelsea again, "where did you take your other pup?" she just whined again and licked the dirt from behind one of her puppies. i noticed both have a thin coat of fur now. the small one is white like chelsea, the big one is slightly brown like whoopie. if only i could understand dogspeak. could a rat have spirited away the third one? did i really transfer 3, i might have counted wrong? could chelsea have eaten this one? later, when i chatted with my wife, she suggested i go look for it again especially in the places chelsea used to frequent. i did not find it.

day 3. night. before i left for work, i delivered chelsea's food and water. i pointed my flashlight at her belly and counted. one, two. white, brown. one, two. brown white. i reminded chelsea, "never leave your pups." whoopie accompanied me up to the gate. i implored him, "be on guard, help chelsea protect the little ones."

 day 4. morning. my work shift had ended. when i reached home, i proceeded to the storeroom. chelsea wasn't there. only the brown pup is lying asleep on the towel bedding. chelsea's food dish is empty.the water bowl is empty. i whistled for chelsea. she came around, whoopie had also awakened , and both are dancing by my feet. both are hungry. "where's  the white one?" i asked them. they're begging me for food. i went inside with their food dish and prepared food for them. soon, both were busily eating. i just changed clothes and went back to the storeroom. one. only the brown pup remains. o Infinite! did i lose another one? chelsea had finished eating and went back inside the storeroom. she circled several times over the bedding i made for them. she sniffed at her brown pup. then, sniffed at the bedding. she's looking for her other pup too. i noticed several bits of plastic bags strewn over the place. it's evident some rat had nibbled at it. that's it! i won't permit the rat to get this last puppy. i decided  to transfer it to the garage. i prepared a place for chelsea and the pup to lie down to. i picked up the brown pup and gently transferred it. now this is a more open space and whoopie will be around to run after unwanted intruders.

i felt terrible while eating. i decided i'll go to the storeroom and search again. when i arrived there i found chelsea frantically pawing the cement floor as if trying to dig something out of the floor. my heart skipped a beat. could it be?  i took off my shirt and proceeded to bring out the stored items one by one from the storeroom. i pointed my flashlight to each nook and cranny. there were only a few items left in the storeroom and still nothing. all of a sudden, chelsea bacame agitated and started pawing against the sheet glass that rested against the wall. i pointed my flashlight at the very small space between the glass sheet and the wall and my heart leapt in joy! there it is, the white pup, alive, wedged between the foot of the glass sheet and the wall. it had somehow managed to crawl inside but got stuck. gently, i pulled it out. it was crying very, very softly. almost inaudibly. perhaps, chelsea was able to hear her. it is safe now. i placed it beside the brown one at the garage. chelsea  lied down beside it  and started cleaning it with her tongue. it snuggled close to her and begun to suck.

i cleaned up the storeroom and returned the items back. i was able to accomplish 2 things: clean the storeroom and rescued the pup. if there are rats there, they might have escaped to some place else. i went back to the house and brewed some coffee to relax.

i was enjoying my coffee seated by the window overlooking the garage when i saw her. chelsea. white pup in her mouth.  i followed her. she is transferring her pups back to the storeroom!

"no, chelsea, don't take them back there!" i shouted. she proceeded anyway. i went out of the house. went to the storeroom. braving chelsea's angry snarl, i picked up the pups and brought them back to the garage. chelsea followed us. as soon as i put them down, she immediately carried them back to the storeroom. i followed them. when she laid them down on the storeroom floor, again i braved chelsea's angry stare and brought them back to the garage. i think we did this ten times. chelsea won. my patience wore off and honestly i got tired racing from the garage to the storeroom and back.

"this is your decision," i told her, "don't say i didn't warn you. we might not be able to rescue the pups again. especially if there are really rats here." i pointed around the storeroom. but, it is generally cleaner now and more organized.

she just looked at me. i don't know dogspeak but i think her eyes are saying, "mother knows best!"

we'll see.

this is day 4, morning. tonight before i leave for work, i'll count them again.

chelsea the first-time mom

mother nature is teasing me. just as when i have had recently posted one about fatherhood here i am being given a chance to play father again. and this time i'm  feeling i'd need to be smarter.

she is a first time mom. here name is chelsea, our dog. she just recently delivered 4 beautiful fragile puppies. well, whoopie, our other dog, is the father, but he's more concerned about food than about the puppies. actually, i saw him visiting the place where chelsea gave birth presumably to look at their offspring but chelsea threw him an angry look and a menacing bark and off he goes scampering for safety.

big problem is chelsea. she has the mother instincts but she's mostly doing things more wrongly than rightly.  first she delivered her puppies just between the 2 washing machines we're using to do our laundry. the place is cramped and wet and cold and not very convenient for the newborns. chelsea snarls at every one who tries to get near the puppies. i don't know if she's just being protective of them or she's jealous of anyone getting a peek on the little ones. and when she nurses them she just doesn't care how her body is positioned. her body actually covers her puppies like a blanket. there is a very fat chance of her suffocating them.

my problem is it's nearing christmas and my brother and his family including my daughter will be spending the holidays with his in-laws in the province. i'll be home alone. but, unlike that famous kevin of the "home alone" movies, i will not be battling with bumbling robbers. i'll be testing my wits against first-time mom chelsea. i have to protect the little fragile ones against their mom's unwise moves.

and so it happened. what we feared to happen. before they were about to leave, my brother found one of the day-old puppies dead. probably suffocated or probably died due to the coldness or the dampness. he tried to get the dead pup but chelsea did not permit it. as my brother narrated, chelsea bit off the head of the dead pup and ate it! he was aghast. much as he tried to get the rest of the body he was not able to. chelsea is attempting to bite him.

"you'll have to find a way to get that dead body," he told me when i got home, "we're leaving now. be careful, chelsea is not letting anyone near her pups."

i looked at the headless body. there are 3 more live puppies. i snuck a peek. the little ones are busily sucking milk. chelsea and the pups are in a very cramped place. i fear for the rest of the puppies. not even two days old.

i am alone now. my brother and his family and my daughter had left for the province. i could not get some sleep. i can hear the puppies' whimpering and crying. they are not comfortable. i have to find a way to move them to a better place. i have to outsmart chelsea like what kevin did to the robbers. and that dead headless body is starting to emit that foul stench. i spent my waking hours trying to figure out a way.  i went out and filled chelsea's food bowl with dog food and placed it very far from where the puppies were. chelsea ignored my food offering. i spent the night hearing the puppies' crying and smelling that foul odor of decomposing body in my shallow sleep. chelsea is winning.

morning. it's good that it is my day off. i am feeling confident. i snuck another quick peek at the newborns. counted 3 small bodies tucked under chelsea whose eyes are so wide awake looking attentively at me. i lingered for a while braving her disapproving stare. the bellies of the 3 pups were moving. thank you, o Infinite! not another one died. but the headless body is smelling terribly. that foul odor is ruining the aroma of my freshly brewed coffee. an idea struck my mind.

bravely, i approached the washing machine farthest from the dogs and slowly lifted it. good it was not too heavy. i moved it farther. i know when the sun comes up sunlight will flood the area where they are and will heat up that place.  then,  i cleaned our small storehouse nearby making sure there's sufficient space for this dog family. i was hoping that chelsea will have the mind to transfer the pups to this cozier place. as bait, i placed her food bowl and her water in a location where she can spot the open storehouse. at the corner of my eyes, i can see her following my every move suspiciously. i tried to ignore her acting like i was just doing my usual cleaning chores.

i went back inside the house and ate my breakfast. after this, i cleaned up the house. i did not try to bother chelsea. i have to be patient. my ally, the sun is slowly rising up. once she heats up chelsea's territory i'm sure she'll be moving her puppies. true enough, as soon as my friend the sun started beaming her rays to where the dogs were, i immediaely heard chelsea becoming very busy. i dared not bother to look. i knew she's moving.

soon, i could no longer hear the whining and the whimpering of the puppies. i went out of the house and checked. the dogs aren't there anymore. i congratulated myself. you're bright, sito kevin, you did it! i picked up the headless puppy and buried it. then i went to the storehouse to spy on chelsea and the others. to my surprise, they were not there! i paused for a while and listened attentively. i traced where the puppies' voices are coming from. i slowly stepped back and there they were by the side of the house. chelsea had dug a hole in the ground and deposited them there. they were better off where they were before. at least they were lying on cemented flooring. this time, they were on soft earth, still damp, still cold. and if it rains they surely will be drenched. i thought i saw chelsea smiling as if to say, gotcha! well, i will not be outsmarted by a dog. my ego is hurtin'. sito kevin must win. home alone strategy is needed.

i moved chelsea's food bowl and water far from the entrance of the fence separating the main house from the storehouse. this is my only chance. but i have to be patient. i picked a stickbroom and started sweeping the fallen leaves that littered the ground. there were lots of them. they were very dry now so i decided to burn them. this will help me while the time away. i will be able to clean up the yard and i will be near where the puppies are located. chelsea will not be suspicious since she will just see me gathering up the dried leaves and burning them. i managed to get to about a foot of the puppies as i swept the ground. chelsea is there nursing her two-day olds. i secretly counted. 3 bodies there underneath her. bellies moving. still alive.

after about two hours of leisurely sweeping leaves and burning them, my patience paid off. she stood up. brushed off the dirt from her white coat and confidently went out of the fenced yard. walked towards her food bowl. finally, she felt hunger and thirst. i pretended not to notice her. she buried her head in the food bowl and started munching at her food. i grabbed my chance. immediately but carefully so i won't catch her attention, i barred the entrance with the corrugated roofing sheet i set aside for this moment. then secured it so she won't be able to push against it if she attempts to do so. i ran to the puppies and picked up all three of them. their eyes are still unopened. i was holding more like the 3 blind mice.  i ran back to the storehouse, arranged the bedding which i prepared for them and laid them down. now they are safe and cozy. i went back to the fence and removed the cover to the entrance. chelsea had finished her food and is now drinking. she never saw what i did. when she entered the yard i acted like i was poking the unburned leaves. i saw her moving frantically when she found out the puppies are not where she left them. i saw her touching her nose on the hole she dug. my heart raced for a bit when she looked at my direction and moved towards me.

she went past me. entered the storehouse. soon i heard the whimpering of the puppies again. i did it! gotcha! i took a quick peek.  they were not on the bedding i made for them. chelsea was able to find another spot  for them. well, i told myself, for as long as they are now inside the storehouse, they will be better off. they are cozier now. no dampness, not too cold. even if it rains they won't be drenched. my friend the sun also illuminates the storehouse just enough. and chelsea, their mother is learning.

night.

i delivered food and water to chelsea at the storehouse. i mustered enough courage to inch closer and to point my flashlight at the spot where they were lying. chelsea was there. 3 bellies were undeneath her. still moving.

tomorrow they will be 3 days older.