where's her mom?

what's great about this almost graveyard shift i am assigned to is that i get to see life in another perspective. the night perspective. they always say there are day people and there are night people. well, i have had my long chance of having observed day people. now i'm being given the chance to see people at night. the very late night.

about a week ago, i boarded a jeepney on my way to work. it was 10:00 pm. there were already about 7 other people inside. after several minutes of travelling, i noticed that the other passengers were giggling. i looked about and i immediately noticed the reason for their amusement. opposite me was this young girl who was visibly irritating the lady seated by her left side. the young girl, about 14 or 15, was terribly drunk, she could not sit upright, she was trying miserably to hold off her sleep. but she couldn't. she kept on leaning against this lady. the lady was trying to be polite to her by nudging her upright every time she leaned to her, but i knew she can only be patient up to a point. when she couldn't tolerate it anymore she changed seats. as soon as she left, immediately the young one collapsed on the vacated seat having no one to lean against. she almost hit her head against the metal tube framing the front seat. by sheer reflex she was able to hold onto the edge of the seat and this prevented her from dropping to the floor of the vehicle. the driver tried to wake her up when he noticed she's inconveniencing the others. she half-opened her eyes and mumbled something nobody understood.

an older woman at my right side asked the driver, "where is this girl headed to? did she tell you where she's going?"

"no, ma'am." answered the driver," she actually dozed off after she and that other lady boarded my jeep, i thought they were together," he explained.

the old woman transferred next to the girl. she tried to rouse her but she's just mumbling incoherently. "well, you'll have to wake her up!" said the old woman. nobody dared move. not even i. the old woman tried hard but she can't wake the girl up. a couple of blocks soon, she got off the jeepney. "wake her up!!" she reminded no one in particular.

i observed her. a girl of probably 14 or 15. my first thought was, WHERE'S HER MOM? how on earth had she gotten into this? almost nearing midnight. dead drunk with no one accompanying her. where are her family? and her mom,why'd she permit her? night is not for young girls. i remembered mother hen, how she frantically looked for her missing chicks. but this young woman's mother, is she missing her?

i hope she does.

i'm almost nearing my stop and we are the only remaining passengers inside the jeepney. by this time, the girl had awakened and the driver had started interviewing her. they were arguing about the girl's fare when i reached my stop. before i got off, i overheard her saying she had already given 100 pesos to the driver and she's claiming for her change. the driver was denying this. well, this is going to be a long night for both.

i was already walking atop the overpass. i looked back. the jeepney was still there. definitely, the two are still arguing. i stopped walking for a while and watched. after a couple of minutes, the girl alighted from the jeepney. she was shouting at the driver and he was shouting back at her. finally, the jeepney moved on. the drunk girl was left standing alone where she was dropped off. maybe she'll take another ride. wherever she's going. i resumed my walk towards my office building. i just hope nothing bad happens to her. how can this happen to young girls such as she? how can her mother permit this? and her father? but, mainly her mother. mothers are the nurturers, caretakers.

motherhood is not just gender. motherhood is feeling. motherhood is heart. i knew a lot of men who turned out to be good mothers and women who were terrible mothers.

motherhood is not just about gender.

before i walked down the stairs of the overpass, i looked back again. she was still there standing alone.

mighty proud

i was having second thoughts about writing this one. i actually should have written this several weeks earlier. i finally decided to let things simmer down for a bit.

i took the picture above on the same day i shot the letter A (the hidden picture), also at the park where i accompanied my daughter. we were passing this long row of flagpoles and my eye caught this angle. i was amused by the juxtaposition of these flagpoles wherein the tallest one in the forefront, the "General", was actually sort of leading his "troop"in a respectful salute to the sun which was about to set. the flags were all gently waving in the breeze, somewhat eliciting this realization in me that most people flock to the park because this is the place where they can exercise their own version of Freedom even for just a short period of time.

this is the place where we forget our worries, our pains, the drudgery of life's hard times. this is where we enjoy SPACE: physical space -- far from the confines of the cocoons we call houses, mental space -- to seek respite from the onslaught of thoughts that clog the mind and give it unrest, and emotional space -- momentarily releasing the heart from that prison we call attachment.

at the park we run unfettered, we savor the breeze, we enjoy the scenery, we relish the energy, we feel the vibrance of life, we laugh as we see father and child unashamedly rolling in the grass, we smile secretly as we pass by a pair of stern looking old men playing checkers, watched intently by a handful of kibitzers who are as quiet as the most devout churchgoers,

and we are free to shoot pictures ...

so i go home mighty proud, like the "Flag General" and his "troop", that we have this park where we can go to and be momentarily free.

and then the following day, just a day after this exhilarating feeling, we watched the news, dumb-founded, unbelieving, just a few blocks away from where we were yesterday

HOSTAGE CRISIS!! GROUP OF TOURISTS KILLED!!

a filipino police officer shot dead a group of tourists he held hostage. it was said the negotiators botched the job and the hostage taker panicked. it was said he was trying to seek redress from an injustice he felt was done to him. i really did not delve much into the details. there's so much finger-pointing going on now.

what i know is this, a group of innocent people were killed, just trying to enjoy the park i was so mighty proud of,

just yesterday ...

A, B, C, or D

once, some good long years ago when i was still working in a factory, one of my officemates asked me,"sito, if you were invited by your alma mater to give a pep talk to a fresh batch of students on which is the most valuable lesson or skill you learned in all of the years you spent studying, what will you tell them?"

"whoa! friend, the opportunity to give inspirational talks are accorded only to those who have done notably well after school." i reminded him.

"well, just humor me, my friend,"he said, as he sipped on his beer,"i know you're not a class top honcho, this is just for discussion."

"ok, in that case, give me some time to think." i replied. i looked at my glass of beer and amused myself for a while with the way the ice moved as i jiggled the glass slowly. come to think of it, i asked myself, why don't these alma maters invite non-achievers or moderate achievers for a change, for inspirational talks? i answered the same question myself-- inspiration is equated with wealth or fame or social status. mediocrity will serve no purpose. people, especially the young, look up to people who have accumulated wealth, became famous, or have successfully reached the highest echelons of the social ladder. these are the people whom they want to pattern their lives with.

"what, in my years of study, do i consider the most valuable lesson or skill i learned?" i repeated my friend's question just to be sure i understood him correctly.

"yes!" he said,"you know, you've taken so long to answer this question, i'm not inviting you to deliver a speech. i told you, this is just for discussion."

"ok, i'll say it's english. the skill to communicate in this worldwide tongue. no matter where you go, if you're conversant in english you won't be an underdog."

"hmmm," he considered my answer. sipped on his beer again. "i'll say it's math," he declared,"it's the most useful tool, if you know how to compute, you will not fail." uhhuh, i sensed where this is leading. i know this guy so well. never wants to pass an opportunity to debate. but i won't allow him to.

"you know,my friend,"i answered," i guess you're right. math is the most valuable tool. if you're skilled in math, you'll go places." there. end of discussion. we drank a couple of beers more and left in peace.

today, if i will be asked the same question, i will be very definite with my answer -- it is "a,b,c, or d". MULTIPLE CHOICE! yes, i just realized this.

if i will be in front of young students i will tell them this -- the skill or the ability to answer multiple choice type of exams or tests. this is the most valuable skill or lesson these years of schooling should hone you for. be sure to develop this. most school exams or tests are in this format. a question is given, then, there follows several choices. one just need to select the best answer. learn this well. HOW TO SELECT THE BEST ANSWER. never mind the exams or the tests where they allow you time to review. although most of those are major exams, still, you are given time to prepare. focus on the exams or the tests that are unannounced. the surprise quizzes! during these times, that's when you are truly being tested. you are left to rely on your ability to choose well. a? b? c? d? which of these? and for most of us, mediocre, lazy students, during these unannounced quizzes or tests, we will have to rely on gut feel. or copying, of course, from the nearest seatmate. but, if the seatmate is as mediocre as we are, then..

why did i say this? well, as i knew it now, LIFE IS A VERY BIG SCHOOL! and most of its tests are unannounced. its questions are also of the multiple choice type. and if one has not this ability to select the best answer, then one will always find one's self in trouble. a? b? c? d? none of the above? all of the above? which is which? if one is not prepared for life's questions, one must rely on gut feel, intuition. one must be prepared to take a chance. oh yes, like most schools, in Life if you fail, you can repeat. Life will permit that. of course, you will be delayed. and that will hurt especially if you have a goal you want to achieve the soonest time possible.

by the way, if you don't develop this ability to select the best answer to Life's questions, forget your desire to be in front of a fresh batch of students to deliver an inspirational message.